1976

By Michelle Pretorius

And then, they crossed the line. Pop. A gunshot rang out. A girl screamed as the limp body of her 13-year old brother fell. School children froze, the stones that they had picked up to fling at the police still in their hands. The ones who had adhered to the directive of a “peaceful” march stood dazed, confusion marring their youthful faces. Pop. The second gunshot ignited a fervor, defying reason, ignoring fear. The children surged forward. Outnumbered, their fear augmented by the hate of thousands, the white men in their police fatigues let the dogs loose.

Placards proclaiming, “Down with Afrikaans,” and, “If we must do Afrikaans, Vorster must do Zulu,” fell to the ground. The bearers reached for bricks and trashcans, anything they could use to defend themselves against the beasts. An Alsatian’s growl turned to a yelp as the first stone hit its side, it’s body failing under the assault. The children’s frenetic rage converged on the dumb animal, bashing it to a bloody pulp. A boy of no more than ten lifted an empty Coke bottle above his head. Pop. The bottle fell from his hands, blood spreading where the bullet had ripped his chest. He looked disbelievingly at the dog, quietly falling next to it. His companions dispersed, their eyes wide with fear. This was not supposed to happen. This was not how this day was meant to end.

The law was passed two years before. No more Xhosa, no more Zulu. Instruction in black schools was to be given in Afrikaans and English only. Teachers showed up to class with Afrikaans dictionaries, trying to teach their subjects in a language they themselves could barely speak.

A Black man may be trained to work on a farm or in a factory,” the deputy minister of Bantu Education, Punt Janson, proclaimed. “He may work for an employer who is either English-speaking or Afrikaans-speaking. Why should we now start quarreling about the medium of instruction among the black people? No, I have not consulted them and I am not going to consult them. I have consulted the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa.”

Jacob had felt the mood change as the screws were tightened one more notch, his own resentment burning. They had rallied early that morning. As unsuspecting students showed up for school, they were told by the Student’s Representative Council Action Committee that today would be the day of protest, kept secret to catch the police unaware. They would march to other schools in the township, gain strength in numbers, make their voices heard. No, their parents didn’t know, but the older generation had become complacent, beaten down by so many years of oppression that they would not fight any more.

Once the march started, they had found their way blocked by the police. But peace held. The procession rerouted, taking, “Nkosi Sikilelel’ iAfrika,” as their anthem, a sense of elation as they sang it over and over, a mantra of hope, their number growing, joined by township gangsters and brave adults. “God bless Africa, let its horn be raised, listen to our prayers, Lord bless us, we are its family.”

But then the line was crossed. Automatic rifle shots rang like hail hitting the roofs of the shacks during spring storms. Government buildings and school buses burned, symbols of the oppressor that took their land, their dignity, their power. The violence only receded with nightfall as women searched the streets for their children, the day’s events punctuated by raw inconsolable wails.

Jacob felt nauseous as he looked at the rows of bodies on the ground, covered by newspapers because there weren’t enough sheets. He had not allowed himself to think or feel, only react, running for shelter from the tanks that roamed Soweto. Leaning against the wreckage of a car to catch his breath, he noticed the body of a white man. Around his neck hung a hastily-drawn board reading, “BEWARE AFRIKANERS.” Jacob stepped closer. He recognized the man, a social worker in the township, always good for a laugh or to bum a smoke. He stared into the man’s glassy blue eyes. It felt unreal to him, this thing that had happened. He never thought that they would be able to strike back. All his life he had believed that the white man was untouchable, yet here one of them lay. He reached out to touch the man’s cold cheek, make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

Pop. A hot pain seared through Jacob’s left side and he fell on top of the social worker. Pop. Dust rose up a few feet ahead of him. Pop. Jacob rolled off the body and sidled under the car, his instinct for survival trumping the pain. Pop. His leg felt warm and wet, but he waited, too frightened to move. Pop. Pop. Shots fired, not at him this time, but in the distance. The nearest building was a sink-plate outhouse. As soon as he was sure they had moved on he crawled over to it, thankful for the cover of rapidly descending darkness. Let it end, please God, he thought as he closed the flimsy door behind him and sank to the floor, the dank stench enveloping him. Just for tonight, let the slaughter stop.

Jacob didn’t know how long he lay on the outhouse floor before the two women found him. Too weak to stand on his own, they hoisted him between them and carried him to the hospital. A dry blood trail led from the emergency room entrance to the intake desk. A gurney wheeled past them, the face of its occupant covered. Jacob felt dizzy, clinging to the side of the desk. The confusion of bodies and doctors distorted in his fever dream, mashing into one being, an abstract monster, like the painting in his father’s study, red and undulating and unforgiving.

“I am Jacob Morgan,” he managed to tell the creature as it put its arms around him. “You give me muti, fix me good, okay?” The red thing’s lips moved, but he couldn’t hear what it was saying.

When Jacob opened his eyes again, he was in a hospital bed, his left side throbbing with a warm pain that extended all the way to his stomach. His mother’s careworn face floated in front of him. She wore a black beret and her good Sunday dress. He thought it funny that she had dressed up. The ward was filled with beds, identical to his, their occupants bandaged and beaten down, adults hovering at their sides, their expressions mirroring his mother’s.

“Jacob?” She was crying.

“He’s all right, Prudence.” His father put his hands on her shoulders.

“We scared those Dutchmen lekker.” Jacob forced the words through parched lips, ignoring the look in his father’s eyes. He had watched his dad deal with the apartheid government for years, defending activists, trying to remain civil, and for what? They, the youth of Soweto, did more to put a dent in the armor of the white man in one day, than his dad had done in a lifetime. They had shown them that they would fight back.

“What you did was stupid. You don’t think.” His dad pointed a finger up at the sky. “You hear that?” Jacob became aware of a constant drone. “The police are coming down on Soweto. The only thing you’ve accomplished was to give them an excuse to fire on us without asking questions.” His dad’s anger spilled into white-hot stupor. He turned his head, clinging to his mother as if she was the only thing keeping him standing.

“No more, Jacob. Please.” His mother reached for his father, an intimate gesture that made Jacob uncomfortable.

“We have to get you out of here.” His father wiped his eyes. “The police are taking names of everyone that was treated for bullet wounds.”

Jacob let his mother help him up, dress him, as if he was a little boy.

“I bought a train ticket.” His father stood by the door, hands restless in his pockets, eying everyone that walked into the ward. “Tessa will take you for a while.”

“I’m not going, Pa. People have to stand together. Not chaile like rabbits. We’ve had enough.”

“I’m not going to allow you to toyi-toyi and be target practice for those animals.”

“Please, Jacob.” His mom clutched his hands. “Don’t break your mamma’s heart.”

“If I’m in danger, so are you.”

“We’ll be all right.” His dad had the, “and that’s final,” look about him, a steel door lowering between them. Jacob knew arguing would be useless.

A nurse rushed into the ward and handed his dad paperwork. “We documented it as an abscess,” she said.

Ke a leboha.” His dad had a look of earnest gratitude on his face.

Jacob leaned on his mother, while his father led the way. Outside, the air was hazy and thick with smoke. Riot police manned the perimeter, rifles gripped in front of them, scowling at a crowd of retreating stone throwers, the smell of teargas lingering. Jacob’s packed suitcase perched on the back seat of the VW beetle and he sidled up next to it. His father navigated past the crowds, taking narrow back alleys between shacks and government housing. People spilled in and out of liquor stores and shops, running off with their loot before a bullet had the chance to stop them.

His father jerked the wheel as a stone bounced off the windshield. Jacob crouched behind the front seat. His mother reached for him across the divide and he clung to her hand, fear breaking through the fuzzy reality of the past day, his breath coming in shallow rasps, his pain forgotten. The stones became a horse’s hooves pounding in rhythm with his heart. His father screamed. The car skidded to a halt. His mother’s grip grew limp. Her body slouched forward.

A police officer flung the door open.“What you doing?” he shouted. “Get out of the car.”

His dad raised his hands, his face pale with terror. He addressed the young policeman in Afrikaans.

“My wife, Sir. She’s hurt. We have to get her to a hospital.”

“You stand over there. Move.”

His father got out and moved away from the car, his hands behind his head. The policeman leaned over the seat.

Jacob felt something explode in him as the man touched his mother. “No!” He reached over the seat to stop the man.

The policeman punched him in the face, a sharp blow that threw him back onto his suitcase. “Want to die today, kaffir?

“Please, Officer. Please. He’s my son. Only a boy,” his father pleaded form the sideline. Jacob had never seen him like that, scared, begging, raw fear forcing him to his knees. He addressed Jacob in Sotho, pleading with him to remain calm, to do what the police said. Jacob slowly opened the car door, hatred raging in his veins, his hands shaking behind his head, the stitches in his side painfully straining while the policeman trained the gun at his head.

“Please, Officer.” His father cupped his hands to the white man like a beggar. “My wife, she needs a doctor.”

The policeman sneered. “What she needs is a morgue. If your son’s not careful, he’ll join her.”

“Please, Baas. Please. We do not want trouble. We want to get away. Please, Baas.

Jacob looked at his father with his knees in the dirt, his pride gone, his dignity gone. It was too much. The pressure cooker inside Jacob forced a hole through his heart. Even as he told himself not to cry in front of these men, sobs of anger, and grief, and shame, convulsed his body.

The policeman focused his attention on a column of smoke in the distance. Through his tears, Jacob noticed the look of embarrassment on his face. So they had a conscience, these men. Perhaps they were even human.

“The coloured hospital in Eldorado Park is open,” the policeman said, his gun still trained on Jacob. “You go there.”

Soweto writhed in fire as they drove away. Jacob reached for his mother’s hand in the front seat. It was still warm, the faint line of death barely crossed. But from this, he knew, there would be no return.

________________________________________________________________________________

Michelle was born and raised in South Africa where she received a B.A. in Theater Arts at the University of the Free State in Bloemfontein. She has lived in London, New York and the Midwest and currently calls Chicago home, where she recently graduated with an MFA from Columbia College Chicago. Her writing has appeared in Word Riot, Everyday Fiction, Hypertext Magazine, The Copperfield Review, and others. http://www.michellepretorius.com

 

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